It's not a magic trick, it's parenting.

So, I came across an article in my local newspaper (The State) about baby-proofing your home that made me so cross, I thought: "Ah, hah! Blog fodder!"

I happily continued my paper, setting aside the offending section.

Then I got to Rosemond. I read Rosemond religiously (LOL!) and am v. often outraged or angered by some of the stuff he writes about. Not at HIM, mind you, but at some of the bloody idiots who are parenting out there.

See, here's the thing. I don't give a flying fark at the moon how you parent your child. Srsly. They are YOUR kids and you should be allowed to raise them as you see fit. You can bottle feed, stuff 'em with carbs, co-sleep, give 'em a paci, let them drink Mt Dew straight out of the 20 oz bottle at age one, or wear your 4-year-old on your hip in an organically grown designer hand-woven hemp sling that costs $250.

I DON'T BLOODY CARE.

I might comment to myself, my friends, on Twitter, and snarkily in my blog - I welcome you to do the same about my parenting foibles - but I would never say you shouldn't do these things, only that *I* wouldn't do them.

BUT. And this but is almost as big as my own:

You are NOT allowed to parent in ways that affects me and my children adversly without criticism from me!

Did you get that?

This includes endless moaning on Twitter, Facebook, IRL and blogs about the results of your particular parenting. If that 4-year-old in the sling is hurting your back and you whine about it every day, well, this bitch is gonna finally tell you to put the damned spoilt kid down cuz even my 2 year old can walk on his own!

If you go on and on about weaning from a paci or being kicked in your co-sleep by a toddler, I reserve the right to sigh and roll my eyes and suggest you might just trash the paci (finally), kick the kid into her own bed (finally), be tough, ignore the crying, and go on about your lives. Jeez!

Look. I'm NOT a better mom than you, and my kids are NOT superior to yours, but when you make parenting choices then complain overly much about the results and do nothing to change it, well, it's not cute and is gonna elicit comment.

"Right, Blue," you're saying now, "So we get it, but what's this post about? What got yer knickers in a wad in the paper? Are we getting to some point?"

Yes. Yes, we are.

It's also not OK when your parenting methods affect me and mine. That's bad. that's v. bad.

The Rosemond article is about classroom sizes and how the idiots trying to 'reform' schools are basically pissing into the wind and using huge wodges of cash to prop the outhouse door open.

One of the 'reform' methods is to reduce class sizes and teacher/student ratios, yet, back in the day, classes were as much as twice as large and they were taught successfully by a single teacher. Rosemond nails the reason why this worked:

"The reason 1950s kids could be successfully taught in overcrowded classrooms is because they had been and were being properly disciplined in the home"

Let me pause here and say, emphatically, that I don't condone overcrowded classrooms. I also would never want my kid's teachers to have any more students. But the reason is exactly the one Rosemond pointed out.

I will share with you the last day of 4-year-old Kindergarten for my Bitty Girl (all the children in the class are 5 by now, of course). They had a wee little celebration with singing and such and it was loads of fun. Most of the 4K moms/grandmoms were there and several dads. Afterwards we retired to the cafeteria for sugary carbo-bomb snacks.

During the hour and a half that I was there I saw one child deliberately, and with forethought, stomp on another child's foot (during the singing!) This little creep never once attempted to join in the performance, but scowled around and messed with the other kids. Until he decided to stomp on Taylor.

Yes, I know. He is 5 and 5 year olds stomp on others every now and then. but this was viciously well-thought out. srsly.  Yes, yes, I know, this is 4K, designed especially for kids with various needs. The only reason Bitty got in was because of our pathetic income and her Autism. I have no idea if this child has behavioral problems. Well ... yes, I do. He obviously does. I have no idea if they are developmental or the result of parenting.

But here's my thing. His mother was sitting right there. Right there! Two feet away. This kid stomped on Taylor's foot, deliberately and as hard as he could, pausing in between each to study Taylor's face for a reaction, and he did it SIX times as his mother just stared. I was this close to barking at him to knock it the fark off myself before one of the teachers spotted and 'redirected' him.

My child in this class is Autistic, and I would never, never allow her to harm another child. I parent her just like I parent her NT siblings - making adjustments for her needs, of course - but I still parent her!  She still must abide by all the rules of polite society or I remove her from the situation.

One child during the entire thing would not stop talking and running around the room. His mother just smiled at him and encouraged him. One child threw a snit-fit in the middle of the room, lying on the floor and screaming (no he's not Autistic). His mother just gave us all a 'what're ya gonna do?' shrug and grin.

WTBF?!

Later on, in the cafeteria, while my own daughter sat quietly eating (as did her 4 year old brother and her 2 year old brother) at the table, a perfect storm of kids whirled around us, running, screaming, climbing on the tables. Not one child took his plate and threw it away except for mine (the 4 and the 2 year-olds as well, without being asked). Kids were shouting, kids were interrupting their parents' convos, kids were whining and dragging on their mother's sleeves, kids were throwing food.

It was a nightmare and all the while the parents stood around talking and ignoring the bad behaviour.

I understand that kids will be kids. Mine will be happy to run and scream, and can whine at the pro level, but I spend my time actually, oh, parenting. All the time. Every day.  If mine step out of line, I am there in a heartbeat to nudge them back.

My kids must say and do at home as they say and do in public. Subsequently they require v. little overt parenting when we are out. I'm not some super mom. I'm just bloody consistant and insistant. I expect them to be quite and respectful. They have never been allowed to leave the table without permission in their lives. They are expected to tidy up after themselves, say "Yes, sir" and "No, Ma'am", and wash their hands after going to the bathroom. It's not some magic trick. It's parenting.

So, back to the classroom sizes: I understand completely why teachers need reduced class sizes these days and it's all because of parenting FAIL. And that's a damned shame.

It's a shame and it makes me angry the OTHER people are not parenting their own children and then are sending said children to school where they interfere - through their out-of-control behaviour - with MY kids' education.

This is wrong. You can coddle, you can cuddle, you can not spank, you can not discipline, you can buy your kid anything and everything, you can do his homework for him, not expect him to behave or be respectful, but this little monster YOU have created is interfereing with MY well behaved kids who want to learn.

Are any of your kids' classrooms filled with poorly behaved children? Does your child's teacher spend so much time dealing with out-of-control kids that she doesn't have time to teach?  What should be done about this problem, do you think?  Leave me your comments and let me know!