Hit and run

So I decided I'd better post about my goat fiasco last night as some of you fortunate people have not-so-many farm animal encounters in your experience and livestock / human collisions might seem a bit ...odd.

It's not so unusual, actually. All livestock has a flight instinct and throw them in a confined area with a puny human; with no hooves, horns, claws, or effective teeth, and it can be a melee.

Last night we had a goat out who was too stupid to figure out how to get back in and it was getting dark.  Bodog and I had run her into a smallish area hoping that she would see the huge gaping hole in the fence and mearly go through. Nope, not Jean.  She's a half-grown Sannen dairy goat cross kid with a brain the size of a field pea.

Well, after we all ran about a bit; Jean getting more and more hysterical, us getting crosser and crosser, and Jean's daft mom, Jo, screaming like an air-raid siren on the other side of the fence, I decided to just grab her.

Bad idea, in retrospect.

Number one, I couldn't move fast or crouch down because my bad knee gave out last week and I fell on the steps. Said knee is currently stiff, swollen, sore as a bastard, and a lovely rainbow of colours.

So, Jean crashed past me, into the barrier fence (was dark by then), turned, and ricocheted off the wire right at me. I spread out like a hocky goalie (wish I'd had all the padding), intending to catch her in mid leap.  Her intention, I think, was to go over my left shoulder.  She wasn't nearly high enough, though, and at the last moment she tucked her chin and the top of her head hit me squarely in my left pectoral between my arm joint and my boob. Her horns hit my collarbone and jaw.

Jean weighs 45lbs and was going like a freight train so, far from catching her, I was knocked backwards, winded, and almost fell on me arse whilst she galloped off.

Not one of my more wise or graceful moments.

So now I'm sat here, painfully cradling my left arm (which is pretty much useless), and trying not to move much.

And Jean?  She's sleeping in the woods, the little brat. I can only assume that being separated from her mum by one fence won't kill her (she's long since weaned). She probably sussed out how to get through the hole as soon as we left!