Apothetic vent
You know how your mobile will flash the low battery icon, flash the low battery icon, flash the low battery icon, then, finally - if you keep ignoring it - simply go "phone powering down" and switch off, usually while you're in the middle of an important call?
Well this is how I feel. Like my low battery icon has been flashing for a week.
Yeah, I know my 33 year old husband just had a heart attack last week, but still. He's doing quite well. He's finally got a good grip on his blood sugar with these weird new insulins he was given, I've converted him over to his new diet (more on that at the Thrifty Dieters Blog), we're trying to walk a tiny bit each day, etc.
But I still feel sort of ... muted. Like I'm inside a frosted glass cubicle and I can hear people outside and see their forms, blurry, though the glass, but they - the whole rest of the world - is muffled.
I've been trying to get caught up around here: wash clothes, wash dishes, fix fences (hey, I managed to fix the pig pen so that they didn't get out every day and eat feed, destroy fences, and kill chickens, w00t!). But everywhere I look there's a thousand things MORE that want doing. Goat fence still has two trees down on it. Firewood needs to be cut and split and stacked. I swear I wash dishes every day but each time I go into the kitchen every dish in the house is stacked up, dirty. The bathroom and the shower room are like science experiments. I STILL haven't fixed the toilet upstairs.
And don't even get me started about how behind I am on working on my stores/websites/blogs. *sigh* Medical bills, whopping great prescription bills, and the longer I stay off-line, the less money I make. Sucks being self-employed and not having personal days!
And through all this, I feel like I haven't seen my children in a week. They just sort of flash by.
Blah, blah, blah, whatever. Whiney, listless vent over. I need to get up earlier.
Say, you'd think someone would have figured out how to add nutrients (like a protein shake) to coffee. That would be really cool! Then you wouldn't have to eat; you could just make several post of coffee all through the day.
And be really really alert.
2 Comments:
Oh, do I know THIS feeling! Especially about the dishes (though, for me, substitute "laundry" and we've go the same issue).
I don't what to tell you, Honey, because I haven't figured it out for myself, either. The only advice I've got is "breathe." Lame, I know, but important..
Oh Blue (((((HUUUUUGSSSS)))) I have been thinking and saying a prayer for you each night. I know you will be fine, after all you're a tough broad! Keep smiling forget about the chores for a couple hours and snuggle with those lil bunnies of yours and watch a movie. When you snuggle up in bed you'll know where they all are (Put one of those child proof locks on the INSIDE of the doors so Fiver can't escape.) Make sure the older ones know that it is snuggle time and that they will not leave the room for 1 hour. It will do you all a great bit of good.
Is there ANYONE who can come give you a hand? Have you thought about a local church? I know there are quite a few older gentlemen in my friend's church that loan themselves out to do chores. I know your are independant, but sometimes you NEED some help. I know I did when my DH did what yours did. I was 7 months postpartum with my Fiver and felt like I got hit by a bus!
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