Friday, October 24, 2008

Drama featuring lots of commas

So ... yeah.

Prior to Wednesday, here at the Burrow, in the Evil Genius Compound, I was the person most likely get scuffed, scratched, banged, gashed, stomped on, or run over.  I'm the one with a family history of breast cancer, the clumsy one, the asthmatic, the one who has a seizure disorder, the one who plays with chainsaws, and drives too fast.

But last Wednesday, my 33 year old husband, Bodog, apparently in an effort not to be outdone, had a heart attack.

No.  I'm not kidding.

Heart.  Attack.

Wednesday morning, he felt like he had a bit of food stuck in his esophagus. His chest felt tight and uncomfortable and he couldn't eat or drink anything (everything came right back up immediately). So he went to Lexington Medical Center Urgent Care (*spits on ground*) in Chapin SC, and they charged him a wad of dosh to tell him that they thought he had an esophageal obstruction (thank you, dickheads, that was our best guess, too.  So much for consulting professionals.) and he should hie himself to an emergency room.

(Amusing aside: they insisted on Lexington. 'Scuse me whilst I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.)

Bodog, meanwhile, left and drove himself straight to our preferred hospital's emergency room in Columbia.

(I, at this time, was in Newberry - 20 min away from Chapin and almost a hour away from Columbia - with all the children.)

So we met him in the ER at Baptist (an hour later) where he said that, happily, whatever was 'stuck' had gotten unstuck while he was checking in.  He had had sudden, horrible nausea, sharp chest pains, then it subsided and he felt better (this happened right there in the check in).

He was then relieved of $100 and sent back to see the doc who x-rayed him and told him that he had reflux and gave him a 'script.

Since everything was (supposedly) peachy, we then split up - he took Bulk and Fiver and himself home for naps, and I took the bigs with me to finish my errands.

An hour later he rings me, sounding like he can't catch his breath:

"Blue, what do I do if my left arm hurts so badly I can't sleep?"

Answer: DIAL 911.

Now remember, I'm in Columbia.  He's heading for Newberry. We'd swapped places, still apart by about an hour.  Also, he had Bulk and Fiver.

So I'm on I-26 with V for Vandetta in the wind and the Newberry dispatch on the line. (When i finally got them.  I got Richland county - perhaps because my cell is local to Columbia? - who sent me to Lexington (*spits on ground*) who was RUDE to me* before I got routed to Newberry)

ANYway, the v. sweet Newberry dispatcher (she called me 'hun' for goodness's sake), calmly told me that Bodog had been transported already (Newberry County EMS farkin rawks!)  and that my children were safe "with emergency personnel".

Forty-five minutes later I haul arse down my own road to find two big white EMS pickups and an ambulance grouped around my front gate. I slid in behind one of the pickups like Dale Jr pitting, lept out, and found three tall, lean, amiable, and capable Newberry EMS blokes watching over my children.  Fiver was still in his crib asleep and Bulk was chatting happily in the kitchen with the youngest guy.

If I could have kissed them, I would have. (The EMS blokes, not my kids.  Those youngest two are sticky.)
So, long story short (too late!) Bodog is in Providence Hospital in Columbia (an excellent heart hospital).  They did a heart cath Wednesday night, put in two stents.  He has a heavy family history of heart disease (his dad was just a guest of Providence for EXACTLY the same thing), and this, coupled with his diabetes, seems to have been the culprit(s).

Looked like he was the youngest guest in the NCCU and now he's in his own room, doing well.

Next question ... when can I have my Evil Genius HOME?!

PS ... if anyone has any Get Rich Quick schemes or winning lottery numbers handy, I'd be grateful, LOL. These medical bills coupled with Mr Primary Bread Winner missing a lot of work is gonna reeeeeeeeeeeally hurt us. Oy!

PPS, woke up this morning with a dreadful cold.  Bloody great. *rolls eyes*

*Yeah, this Lexington county bitch was a real gem.  I'm v. organised and calm during crises - it's one of my few skills. When I ring 911 I don't ramble, I state the facts right up front: my name, the emergency, the location, etc.  So i rattled all of it off to the Richland bloke and he realises that he's the wrong county and transfers me to Lexington.  So I'm quickly repeating the info (name, emergency, locatio--) and bitch cuts me off and snaps: "Ma'am, calm down!"

Oh, erm, sorry? 

Honey, if I'm weeping, or yelling, or cursing, then you may tell me to calm down.  If I'm speaking too quickly for your ill-formed white trash brain, then you may ask me to slow down. Otherwise, if I'm just trying to impart the information that you farkin requested, then you need to re-adjust your attitude or find another job.

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 2:12 pm   9 comments


At 6:55 am, Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

HOLY CRAP, Honey! I'm SO sorry!

Mr. Chili gets anxiety attacks that impersonate heart attacks, but that's nothing. I'm SO glad BoDog is okay (well, GENERALLY speaking... oh, you know what I mean - he's not dead!). I'm sending you love, patience, and all the good energy I can spare (and if I come across lotto numbers, you'll be the first to know).

I love you both!


At 7:47 am, Blogger Kathy Harrison Fuller said...


I'm so sorry! I have been there - my 44 year old hubby did this last year - 1st day of Easter vacation with the four olders and a 6 month old home. It is scary and will make you really think about those things you don't want to think about...

I am sending all my love and prayers to you and the brood. From my experience, please be sure to have BoDog give the kids extra tlc and attention. They are probably confused and scared a bit too, even if they seem calm on the outside.

Make sure YOU take care of yourself too. You have to shoulder a bigger load - you already are not feeling good (Gee hospitals are sooo sterile huh!) and the extra stress and worry won't help.

Try to call in the reinforcements if you can and get some rest!

I wish I was close by - I'd make you a HUGE casserole and watch the brood while you took a nap!

Be well!

[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]] from NY!

At 8:12 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Soooo glad to hear that things are getting fairly normal and that Bodog survived. What that boy won't do to get out of making another Chi of Cheese review video. Sheesh! Mrs Frog and Cassie will be as relieved as I am right now to learn that Bodog is out of the woods. Take care of yourself and your brood, Blue! -Uncle Frog

At 8:46 am, Anonymous janelle said...

Hugs, glad to hear from you. I was really worried! Hopefully he can come home soon. When they did my Moms stints, they only kept her overnight, but she hadn't had a heart attack yet either. As far as the bills, most hospitals have financial aid. Go ask!
Love janelle

At 10:04 am, Blogger Kim said...

Oh wow, Blue. That is definitely the stuff of nightmares. Thanks for filling us in. There were a lot of people around the globe worring about y'all.

Now we'll all be pushing quick healing thoughts BoDog's way.

big hugs,

At 10:47 am, Anonymous Barb said...

I was really worried, and I'm glad we heard from you. Keep your chin up, and we're all here for you.

At 12:04 pm, Anonymous Kayecee said...


My love! I'm so glad things are going better. I've been worried about you guys. Sending much love from ArkanAss here. *big hug*

Take it from the ER expert..... don't worry about the bills and such now..... you guys just take care of you and the babes.



At 1:26 pm, Blogger MrsEvilGenius said...

Thank you everyone!

Just reading your comments really helps.

Hopefully Bodog will be home by Monday since he's lookin' good. They're trying to get him adjusted to some new insulin and he keeps running a fever. They're worried about a lung infection.

At 6:47 am, Blogger Chris said...

Okay, that sucks. I hope he is doing okay and I hope that you are coping okay.


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