Yes, I speak toddler

My oldest daughter, the Human Crash Test Dummy, came to me today and said, with perfect clarity: "Momma, der's a tickuwit in dere!"

Of course. A ... uh ... tickuwit.

After arriving in the room and enacting a lengthy search I discovered ("Dere! Right dere! Tickuwit!") a hale and hearty cricket jumping against the baseboard.

I don't know why I was surprised. This is the baby who asks me every morning if it's time for 'beck-fu-wiss' (breakfast) and if I'm going to be: "doin' yer exer-sizins" when I pick up my freeweights. She also loves playing with her 'race-ul-tars' (race cars). She's really keen on extra syllables.

My 18 month old is still mired in grunts and hums for the most part, although she has such gems as 'Ball' (her and her brother's first word), pronounced "Baaawww"

Not to mention 'nooooooo', 'UH-oh', and 'Oww!'

Big brother, Boy, is in the let's-see-what-happens-if-I-say-a-naughty-word phase and loves to elicit a response by suddenly - in the middle of the Wal Mart preferably - singing out: "PENIS!" and then giggling wildly. I've tried to undermine this by reacting to random words and it's become a sort of game between us. He'll get a devilish look on his face and cry "AMOEBA!" or "JELLYFISH!" and I'll obediently gasp in horror.

He also makes up words. Very strange words. Like 'FEE-buh' and 'grib-ZIT'. What the heck is a grib-zit, anyway?

I suppose I should be grateful for all this chatter. My youngest, at 4 months, has graced me with only one word: "Glur!" which he says with delighted abandon and which is often accompanied by a huge, gummy grin. Right now it's my favourite word.

Glur!