Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Xtreme Mom-Over

Just a quick post to let the two of who who are still reading (*waves*) know that I'm not dead!

Seriously, I am super busy at work, toilet training Bulk (who is doing fab BTW), and minding the Brood and the farm and my new tractor! (Eeee!)


And now for your snarky pleasure, a rant:

Fiver is close to 4 months old. He has been sleeping through the night for a month ( 9pm to 5am or so). He eats like a champ and is in size 4 disposable nappies and 6-9 month old clothes.

ALL THE FRICKEN' TIME I get the questions about whether he is eating solid food.

Well, no he isn't.

What you do with your baby is your business. Don't try to make me feel small because I choose to wait to feed solids until my babe is 6 months.

Number one, they don't NEED solids until they are 6 months. SOOOOOO many women introduce solids WAY early as a form of one-upmanship ("My Ayvah Grayse was eating cereal at 6 weeks!") or as a bizarre "aww-poor-baby-she's-huuuuuuuungry! Look at how she stares when I eat!" lack of parenting control thing. Of course she stares intently at you when you eat. You are the center of her universe, the most fascinating thing in her world. She's NOT hungry, she would be just as focused if you were picking your nose.

Also, there are several studies out there that suggest that introducing solids too early encourages food allergies. I'm not for a second saying that this si absolutely true, but I don't know for sure, and I'm not willing to do something unnecessary that may cause my babies to have an allergic reaction.

I am a firm believer that a baby needs ONLY breastmilk or formula until 6 months or so. I
see no reason to rush my kids into eating - or anything for that matter. So, NO, he's not eating solids yet.


Rant #2:

Via a column called Flying Solo by Jan Warner and Jan Collins which appeared in my local newspaper, The State:

Question: My husband and I have been separated now for nearly a year, and while we have our differences, we do agree on one thing: our two sons, ages 14 and 16 and both living with me, for the most part, are not motivated to do much of anything other than send text messages (between them, we are being charged for more than 9,000 text messages in each of the past four months), talk on their cellphones, and play video games. Even though my husband and I both work because of our economic situations, we have been involved at school and with our children’s homework as much as we have been able, but nothing seems to be working. Both boys test as being intelligent, but their grades are borderline, their hygiene and table manners are atrocious, and we have run out of ideas. We are sure there are no drugs involved. We saw recently that children were become addicted to video games, and wonder if this is the problem.

IMHO, the response dropped the ball. (I have ordered the book they mention. I'll let you know my opinion after I read it.) Their advice should have been more specific.

I swear I want to go into business as a parenting consultant in the manner of Extreme Makover.

Not that I feel like I'm some faboo parent or anything, but I DO have the chutzpah to frickin' put my foot down. All I'd need is one day - 12 hours - to slap some sense into a family.

I mean GREAT GRAVY! What the eff is wrong with the mother in this column? Is she insane? Born without a spine? Just stupid? SHE is in control of this situation! SHE is the one responsible for this situation! SHE is the parent. SHE has the ability to end this problem!

If she were a guest on my new Xtreme Mom-Over telly show here's what I'd do*:

Bringing with me two alarum clocks and a huge box of black 33 gallon plastic bin-liners, I'd arrive on a day when both boys were gone and head straight to their rooms. EVERY. THING. IN. THEIR. ROOMS. save their clothes, bedlinens, books, bedside lamp, and non-electronic toys goes into a trashbag. All video games. All electronic toys. All appliances and devices (microwaves, espresso makers, televisions, dvd players, mini-fridges, computers, etc).

An alarum clock would be placed on the dresser across the room from the bed (so that one has to get out of bed to turn it off).

When the wee cherubs arrive back home all cell phones, ipods, blackberries, pagers, etc will be relinquished and placed into a trashbag.

Later the mom and I will go through all bags and donate items deemed unnecessary. The remainder go into the attic where they cannot be reached by the children.

The boys would then be given a list of the new rules:

1) One meal will be eaten as a family, at the table, with real dishes. You will appear on time for this meal, with your hands washed, and behave like humans while eating. Otherwise you will go straight to your room, where you will remain until the next mealtime. If this means your food goes into the slop bucket, then so be it.

2) Alarum clocks will be set for a decent time. You will get up, wash yourselves properly, dress yourselves appropriately and appear on time for breakfast/leaving the house.

3) All homework will be done as soon as you arrive home from school and get a snack. Mom will NOT correct homework, but will be available to help if asked. NOTHING else will happen the remainder of the day (no telly, no meals) until your homework is completed.

4) You will NOT leave the house, go on dates, go to the mall, go to the movies, etc. You will go to school. You will go to the shops with Mom if necessary.

5) No television will be watched solo. Telly will only be viewed in the family room by the entire family and only after homework has been done. (I would prefer that telly be eliminated entirely but I know that not many women would be able to bear that.)

(Naturally, there will be no computer time, no ipods, no video games, etc. Stuff in the attic stays in the attic. Whine all you want, quietly, in your rooms)

After two weeks, if the boy's school participation/performance improved markedly (we would co-ordinate closely with the teachers to judge this), they got out of bed in the morning, washed themselves, sat at the table like humans, etc, then Mom could consider allowing them v. brief telly time, restricted computer time, severely limited video game time.

(IMHO, all of these things should be limited for any child. NO child should be allowed to sit in front of a telly, computer, or video game for more than an hour at a stretch.)

I don't know if one can really become addicted to video games (for example) but if one were to lock up a hard-core smoker and only allow him 2 butts a day, I know two things: 1) he would NOT DIE, and 2) he would bloody well appreciate and take care of those two cigarettes!

Obviously, these measures are just as the Xtreme Mom-Over 'show' suggests: extreme. I don't think that everyone should run her household like a dictator (just like a parent). I'm also not anti-telly, anti-video game, anti-whatever-electronic-device. I just feel that these things should be controlled. By the *ahem* parents.


*My one condition for being a guest family on Xtreme Mom-Over is this: the parent(s) must tell their kids two weeks in advance that if they don't straighten up that they will be on the show. The kids should be given a clear list of requested improvements and given a chance to do so before being featured on the show.

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 7:56 pm   3 comments


At 9:45 pm, Blogger mrschili said...

Hi, Blue! (*waves*)

I'm RIGHT THERE WITH YA on this. The abysmal parenting I see on a regular basis scares the shit out of me. My kids go to school with those kids, and I'm working double-duty to keep my kids in line when they see friends who "get to do stuff" that they don't get to do...

At 7:44 am, Blogger Kuckie said...

Hi Blue...found your blog by a complete act of random surfing...and I'm glad I did! I, too, am horrified by the child raising I see on a daily basis. My oldest went off to kindergarten this year and I was scared shitless, especially after visiting her class. I can't believe how many of my clients come in talking about all the things they have to make sure they get for their children, how much homework and how many term papers they write...

I think a child's life should be much simpler...play outside, use your imagination, and do your chores. No whining and NO talking back. My child is allowed a limited amount of time on the computer, but it has to be used playing what we call "smart games", i.e. educational games. Anyway...

I'll definitely be back! Thanks for a great blog!

At 10:43 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Baaaarrrh you're back my scurvy wench! Glad to see yee back at the post!

Congrats on the potty thang and the NO solids thing.

AMEN on the Extreme Behaviorover ideas - I agree wholehardedly.

I also agree about the kindergarten thing with PP - it scared me too after being gone from the kindergarten world for 7 years. I REFUSED to have my 5 year old do homework. What were they gonna do fail him??

Naaah - they get too much state aid from my lil buggers. I threatened to home school them ALL!

Besides my brood single handedly RAISES their State Test scores - A LOT!!!!

Glad to see ya back!




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