I feel like ranting!

I don't get out much. You may have deduced this by my mind-numbingly boring blog posts. It's true.

I'm a terrible consumer. I don't shop, fuck shopping. I could never just mindlessly waste money on shit I didn't need. I'm not knocking those who shop for recreation or therapy, mind you ... I'm just saying *I* can't do it. Must be my ThrifyBrain that was installed at the factory.

But I do occasionally go out. I shop for groceries/supplies every fortnight (that's 2 weeks for you non-anglophile Americans) and of course have various doctor's appts, etc. And - since I also *GASP* don't watch television - I spend a huge amount of time (and derive great pleasure from) People Watching.

Sweet Mother of Stan Lee, have you just paused and taken a LOOK at folks before? Seen how they dress? Watched how they (and their kids) act? Bear with me a moment while I rant!

Let's take how folks dress, for example:

First, what's up with the wearing of night attire in public? I regularly see otherwise normal looking females in stores with bedroom slippers on. WTF? Yes, it's comfy, yes you're in America, yes you have rights. Are you next going to be - upon having the urge to urinate - simply squatting where you stand and having a waz on the floor?

I spoke with a girl in the WalMart in pajama bottoms and fluffy bunny slippers. She explained that she was pregnant and so very uncomfortable. She was about 17.

Uh ... 'scuse me honey, but I'm 40 years old, pregnant with my 4th and herding 2 toddlers and an 11 month old baby around. I'm tired and uncomfy too, you little skank. Go get dressed and shut up. Who the fuck raised YOU?

And please explain this opposite-end-of-the-spectrum attitude to me: I was driving to my OB appt and saw a lovely young woman, I'd say about 4-6 months pg. She was not skinny but not plump either, just average. And her clothes were so damned tight on her it made me wince. Everything she had on was stretchy and about 2 sizes too small in the new show-off-your-pregnancy fashion. And these were expensive looking maternity clothes, not a case of trying to squeeze into pre-pregnancy outfits.

Now, before I continue this rant, and before you get your knickers in a knot, let me make it quite clear that I am a Big Momma. I do NOT cotton to society’s - and many mother’s - brainwashing attempts to teach girls that they must be a certain size to be beautiful. Women are naturally beautiful creatures. But we need to ‘dress our size', ya know? A girl who’s a healthy size 16 with all the womanly attributes of luscious hips and thighs, round belly, and full breasts simply is NOT going to look good crammed into some of today’s ‘fashions’. The worst of it is that she shouldn’t think that she has to!

Onward. Non pregnant ladies:

Again in the WalMart, two pairs of Latinas, plump as little pigs, two of whom had their shiny black hair dyed a rusty red. They had garments on so tight it made my eyes water with thick rolls of fat welling out between pant-waists and shirt-bottoms and impressive camel-toe.

Two teenagers, one of whom had a tongue ring that she was either very proud of and wanted to show off or was bugging her because she flicked her tounge out every few seconds like a lizard. Both were quite fluffy and out of shape and each sported two bare wads of hip fat that jiggled like pudding above their waistbands (and below their shirts) as they walked away. Lizard-girl had on a pair of those horrible low-rise warm-up pants with "brat" written across the arse and (hopefully unintentional) glimpses of underwear and butt-crack going with each step.

I'm pretty sure that 'slut' would've been a better word to use for advertising. Do their mothers know they're out like this? Do their mothers DRESS like this too?

This whole concept drives me insane. Why can't we just dress comfortably and attractively as ourselves and not a supermodel or film star? Why do we not feel sexy in clothes that fit? Pregnant women, in particular, have a tough time finding any damned thing to wear without having to look at adverts with size 4 models with tiny little basketball-bellies and clothes that fit like sausage casings.

And don't get me started with the little mini-ho clothes that are in the girl's clothing section!

Now you know why I don't go out more.