Monday, January 02, 2006

Stop the ride, I wanna get off

V. bad day yesterday.

Dad is almost healed physically. There's tons more physical therapy and strengthening left to do - months more - but the big things are healing nicely. That's wonderful and just short of miraculous if you consider where he was just a month ago.

Now his brain has to get better.

He's completely off the meds, just taking Tylenol when he needs it and his mind is shaking off the last few effects of all those narcotics. So now he's clear to think and he has allllllllll day and night to do it.

Mr B. put it beautifully in an email to me: Dad's emotions are raw.

Yes.

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Dad and I talked a good deal while I was there and got some stuff out. Some of it was therapeutic and some of it was just unpleasant, like standing next to a house fire where there's nothing you can do but watch it burn. We cried a bit, had an animated discussion in which our opinions differed sharply on a few things, and we cried some more.

We talked about what he wanted to do after he was mobile and no longer needed physical assistance. He talked about going back to his house.

Frankly this disturbs me deeply. I do NOT want him up there in that place all alone. Not while he's physically weak or psychologically weak.

But I can't make him do anything. He can do whatever he pleases (and say whatever he pleases, and feel whatever he pleases) and I'll go with it. I might not bloody well be quiet about it, but I'll go with it.

All we can do to help right now is listen and provide feedback. We can be sounding boards. And don't be afraid to tell him what you think. Don't be banal. Don't just try to please him or agree with him if you don't agree. He needs to talk out a LOT of stuff. Let him talk. Talk back.

We are his friends and family and colleagues. He trusts us and depends on us to not only listen, but to respond frankly.

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And now, frankly, I must go. I'm tired. All of the babies are sick now. Evil Genius Husband, who has spent his holiday watching me walk out the door and talk on the phone, has to return to work tomorrow. I have a week-full of doctor's appointments and I need to clean my house. Heck, I haven't put up my comic strips in 2 weeks.

Ugh. A lot to do.

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 7:06 am   1 comments

1 Comments:

At 4:49 pm, Anonymous Bill Cobb said...

I got to know your Dad from the UNC/Charlotte Formula S.A.E. college racing team. We met in Pontiac Michigan at the SilverDome events. In doing so, I got to know his popularity with the engineering school students. It will be a hard journey back from the shock and trauma of the physical and emotional injury. From my experience, the biking is the comeback answer: Get him back in the saddle and a 5K 'race'.
Please tell him I was thinking of him. Best of all Wishes. BTW I would like to suggest you accompany him at the next FSAE race coming up in a few months again here in Michigan. I can get you more details next week. The National chairman is in the office next to me.

Bill Cobb
Vehicle Dynamics Center
GM Proving Grounds
Milford, MI
-william.a.cobb@gm.com-

 

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