Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Blue got the blues ... erm ... purples?

I was just going to tweet this, but some things just deserve a blog post of their own:

Farming is frequently hard, can be frustrating, even heartbreaking, but every now and then you have a James Herriot moment that you get to smile over (in retrospect) for years.  Today held one of those moments.

I'm out in barnyard doing the chores, right? So I spy with my little eye a hanging shelf that has come loose on one side. Well, being The Fixer that I am (and knowing damn good and well that husband Bodog would walk past it from now until the Zombie Apocalypse without even noticing it, much less fixing it) I proceed to enact a quick repair.

Then the Gods of Happenstance farted in my general direction. And laughed like mad bastards about it.

What happened (as reconstructed later from crime scene photos*) was that, as I was lifting the sagging shelf, an aerosol can tumbled off and apparently struck something sharp, because it was punctured.  Within seconds I was liberally sprayed from my toes to my hair with a product called Dr. Naylor Blu-Kote.

(Mark that name. Blu-Kote. Blue.Coat.)

Blu-Kote is a barnyard staple and much beloved by me (and many others) for over 30 years. I'm never without a can. It is "a fast-drying antiseptic and fungicidal" for wound care. It's principle ingredient is gentian violet. If any of you moms out there have ever used gentian violet to treat thrush on your nipples (it's miraculous how well it works for this) then you know the defining characteristic of the stuff.

Yep, boys and girls, every exposed surface of my skin in the line of spray was immediately and generously endowed with a dark bluish-purple sheen.

This included both feet, my left arm and hand, my right hand and wrist and the left side of my FACE.

Needless to say, I high-tailed it to the house to try to get the damned stuff OFF since I couldn't go pick up my kids looking like some cosplay reject Nightcrawler**.

After ten minutes with a wet rag and a tub of Goop I had managed to get all of it off my face and was snorting and giggling over the whole thing.  I mean, how many middle aged moms get to boast of being hosed down by deep purple antiseptics as part of their regular day?

I didn't think to take a pic right after it happened (was too busy scrubbing!) Here's my left hand AFTER I cleaned my face and arms, so it was originally about twice as dark:

And here's the scene of the crime, victim in situ. Look at that splatter pattern! Those white rectangles are self feeders for dogs (in case you were curious).

And the primary victim. The cause of death was definitely not lupus.

In case you are wondering how my feet got sprayed, remember that I'm totally against shoes - I think they are unnatural.  I go barefoot unless I absolutely must be shod and then I go with minimalist footwear: thongs, Invisible Shoes, five-fingers, etc. The barnyard is one of those places where I wear shoes. There's just too much risk of nails and wire and other pointy pointy things, not to mention that things like chicken poo are really unpleasant to step in.

So I wear plain old el cheapo flip-flops in the barnyard and ended up with dark purple feet with a white chevron where the thongs crossed the top of my foot!

End Note: I also try never to use chemicals on my skin (haha after today!) so the thought of having to put all that Goop on my skin was revolting. When I went to clean my arms and feet I tried rubbing olive oil into the stain and washing with plain old (just lye and lard - no colour, no scent) soap.  It worked just as well as the Goop!  I wish I had thought of it before I did my face!

*Yes, we've been Netflixing "Dexter", how did you guess?
**Why didn't I say Mystique?  Cuz I never liked Mystique. I adore Nightcrawler. Well the Chris Claremont era Nightcrawler anyway.

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 3:50 pm   0 comments


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