Thursday thoughts

My Mum has agreed to come watch the children again tomorrow so that I can go back up and see my Dad before the week-end. I'm really happy that I don't have to wait until Saturday. I wish I could go every day.

There are some very important things that I want to discuss with the doctor tomorrow when I go. I asked them the Friday after the accident, and again that Sunday, when they thought he might be cognizant. I know that they have to keep him under sedation to help him heal and as long as he's on that respirator (to keep him fighting it too much), but I'm hoping they can give me an ETA of when he'll be able to be told about Kimberly (I'm dreading that day) and be able to make coherent decisions.

I understand that it's really really hard to guess this. These blokes are doctors, not gods, they can't work miracles or see the future. I only want to ask one last time (with a great deal of hope that they'll say: "Oh, any day now!"), before I go down to the courthouse and file for guardianship.

I really hate that this is happening. My father is only 61 years old and at the top of his game. he shouldn't have to bury his wife. He shouldn't have to have his affairs be handled by someone else. He should be at home right now, sitting in his recliner, surrounded by cats and television remotes, typing on his laptop, and watching two TVs simultaneously. He should be grading papers, riding his bike, walking his dogs. Kimberly should be there.

But life doesn't have an 'undo' button and you just have to deal with things or they'll deal with you.

When Dad gets out of the ICU - if he'll have an extended hospital stay - I would like him moved to a closer hospital. Closer to me. I have spoken to a few folks about moving him when the time comes and I think they thought I meant to Charlotte. I mean to Columbia (SC).

Columbia is only an hour away from me and 20 minutes from his sister, my aunt. Charlotte is 2 1/2 hours away. I'm really sorry that this will take him farther away from some folks as it brings him closer to me.

All of this is dependent upon him, of course. The instant he can get his thoughts together I'll happily defer to his wishes. Hopefully all this will be moot and he'll recover quickly and be able to go home. All we can do is hope.

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Dad should be in surgery right now. While the plastic surgeon repairs his thumb, the orthopoedists will clean out his leg wound again and attempt to close it. There was some loss of tissue (It's the only open wound that he received that I know of) so if they can't get it closed they'll have the plastic surgeons take a skin graft from Dad's hip.

He hasn't had a temp again but they're giving him the antibiotics and Tylenol now so that may just be keeping it at bay. No matter, it's good that he's not running a fever.

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Remember how I was expressing my frustration about certain types of calls that I was getting? Well I've not gotten any more in that vein since those first few days (except for yesterday ... words cannot describe ...) and I've come to realize that there is a certain type of person (all female in my experience) who behave this way - are long-winded and nosy and seem more interested in invading my and my Dad's privacy than inquiring on his status - because they want to be part of the drama.

In striking contrast I seem to have a cadre of women (and you know who you are) who are sympathetic, practical, and strong in the face of this crisis. They have appeared on the scene like valkyries and are assisting me so much. They are helping me with everything, making my life during all this easier and less worrisome, and giving me not only tangible aid but their virtual shoulders to cry on and electronic ears to bend.

Along with all of Dad's friends and Kimberly's family, I feel better able to handle all of this because of this support and the few 'rubberneckers' don't bug me anymore. I can't say it often enough, so here it is again: Thank you so much.