The plot thickens ... or sickens

OK, let me run this by you.

My oldest son's birthday was Friday. He is three. He was the first grandchild on both sides.

He has recieved absolutely nothing from anyone save us (myself and his father).

Now, my Dad and Mum have both wished him happy birthday (through me) and have promised his gift when they next visit. No cards (we're not much on cards), but I trust them to bring him something that he'll like. I'm an only, so that's pretty much all there is on my side.

From Darling Hubby's side of the family: zilcho. Zero. Nothing. Nada. You get the drift.

There's his dad and wife, his two sisters, plus aunts and cousins in Georgia.

So my questions are these:

1)Why no phone call? Broken fingers? Malaria?

2)Why no card? These are very cardy people. You may recall that we got 3 seperate valentines day cards (which falls 4 days before Boy's birthday) addressed to Child Hubby'sLastNameOnly. We also all got a v-day card from the Georgia crowd.

3)Why no gift? Please let me hasten to say that I certainly do not care (I'm being sincere, here) about gifts, but it was a birthday.

I'm wondering (a bit perversly) if it was because I failed - for the first time in my life - to send thank-you notes for the x-mas gifts. Let me explain that I'm a rabid thank-you-noter. It's how I was raised and I try to be prompt and thourough, but in January I had all my pre-natal testing and then we all got sick. By February I figured it would be in poorer taste to send them so late.

Darling Hubby, who's had 30 years experience with his spectacularly passive-aggressive family, has a theory. His assumption is that they (read: FIL) are miffed because we don't visit enough.

Let me explain to you what I've attempted to explain to them:

I have 3 small children. Just getting them ready and out of the house is a huge task. I am also pregnant and have a knee injury. Unnessessary trips are uncomfortable.

We have a farm. This is not like having a cat. We (now Darling Hubby) have chores that must be done daily along with feed and supplies that must be fetched regularly.

We have one car.

Darling Hubby does not get off until 4pm and if we are all to go somewhere he must come home, we must load up the kids, go and return before 7pm which is their bed-time. This is a teensy tiny window, folks. Plus they must eat supper at some point and I'm not a Happy Meal Momma unless dire need forces. Darling Hubby also works almost every Saturday.

All of the above is not a hardship for us, but does put a cramp on any casual visitation.

Do any of you have any theories? I am baffled.

I comprehend that they generally dislike me a lot, disapprove of me, and assume any frowned-upon issue is my doing ("She clearly removes the batteries from all the vehicles and locks the children in a shed so Son can't come to visit!") but to take all this out on their grandchildren? The mind boggles.