Every day, and in every way ...

... I'm getting better and better.

*hack*gag*

So, yeah, stuff's getting better around here. Darling Bitty Boy (look at that face! How could you NOT love that face? He's so ugly he's cute!) has settled into a sleep routine - about 4 hours between feeds with the occasional 2 hour interval. The Extreme Crabby-ness (look for the new reality show!) problem was neatly resolved when Darling Hubby phlegmatically pointed out that Boy had displayed the same symptoms until we started lashing the Mylicon to him.

Well, dur. Poor wee thing had gas. Just like my first son. I guess the old 'labour amnesia' that you hear about, having nowhere to apply itself with me, erases all my memories of the first 3-6 weeks post partum instead. Geez, I can be an idiot.

I, personally, am still feeling like microwaved dog poo. I have no energy or enthusiasm for anything. My right leg/ankle/foot is still swollen badly, hurts mysteriously, and my arse is still as broad as the back of a barn.

And I'm hungry all day. You know, if i'm going to be hungry then I should be positively svelt. I should be so thin that if I turned sideways you couldn't see me. Then I could be as hungry as I want and laugh it off. "Oh, it's just my pesky stomach growling, ha, ha! I haven't eaten since, oh, what was it ... March?"

Bleh.

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(This was nicked shamelessly from here wherein the fab Getupgrrl makes some sensible promises to her unborn son.)

This is to all of my children:

Dear bubs ...

- I promise to be the best Mother In Law I can be.

I won't flinch when my Son In Law , Mark Anthony Dikhead Jr, smugly announces that my grandson - exactly half of whose DNA comes from my daughter - will be named Mark Anthony Dikhead III and be called by that lamest of nick names : "Trey" (as in très ridicule).

I will remain expressionless when my Daughter In Law says that she will co-sleep, attachment parent, breastfeed-until-kindergarten my granddaughter, Brynkleigh Bleodweggh (in honour of her 1/14th celtic side), or alternately, NOT breastfeed because "That's just yucky. Boobs are for sex."

... because this will be their baby, not mine.

and most of all, Darling Children,

I promise that I won't ever, ever, EVER, hint, infer or imply that my daughter's appearance - specifically her weight - has any bearing on her worth!