Saturday, May 28, 2005

That's 'pregnancy glow', dang it!

If I could give one bit of advice, gleaned from my years of having babies, one little nugget among all others to give to those Trying To Concieve or those who are pregnant it would be this: DON’T blow your nose into you toilet paper prior to wiping. You could scare yourself to death having a peek afterwards.

So here I am, placidly huge and phlegmatically awaiting next Monday (not this coming Monday … Monday next). I’m swelling, aching, belching, grunting and waddling. Behold the luminous glow of the woman in late pregnancy! That look in her eyes is one of benevolent love not I’m-going-to-tear-the-head-off-the-next-sucker-who-speaks-to-me! Really!

I got to guffaw politely though one of my least fave old saws yesterday: "OMG, are you sure there’s just one in there???” Grit Teeth. Smile. “Har, har, har, no after four ultrasounds and listening to the heartbeat on Doppler the past 25 weeks we’re just not sure!”

No I didn’t really say that. I did know the lady quite well though and got up the nerve to say laughingly: “you’re just jealous!” At which point she startled me by saying “yeah, I guess I am”. Turns out that the daughter she brings up when I visit , when we’re doing the happy mom thing and comparing notes, will be her only.

“My husband said no more. He only wants one”

I was taken aback and sad for her. Not that I feel like a big family is for everyone but she confessed to wanting 3. Now she’s ‘stuck’ having only one because of a decree from on high by her spouse – who originally said ‘whatever you want dear’ before they were married. She’s a nice person, a nurse who put herself though college and who works 60+ hours a week, she just bought herself a car (with her money) and contributes half the payments on their mobile home and lot.

But someone else gets to tell her how many children she can have.

That just bugs me.

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 8:50 am   7 comments


At 11:36 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Horrible! Now her only child will end up being a spoiled, selfish, socially maladapted, lonely little thing because she'll have no siblings. What a tragedy!

At 7:06 am, Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

*sniffs the air*

Heh. Am I sensing a bit of sarcasm here, Annonymous? LOL.

Keep yer hair on. My point was NOT about the child being an only, but that the mom has been hindered in her desire for a larger family. That's all. Just put down the pitchfork ... sloooowwwly ... good. ;)

-Blue (who is an Only and is perfectly fine, thank you! *twitch*)

At 8:50 am, Anonymous cruisin through said...

"someone else" telling her how many kids to have? I could see that as an objection if, say, her neighbor were telling her how many kids to have, but what's her husband, scenery? Since HE'd be the one having the additional children, too, wouldn't forcing the issue be HER telling HIM how many kids to have? And wouldn't that be equally wrong? I agree that it's a shame that they have different views on this, but it is a decision they both have to agree on, a mommy doesn't get more voice in the matter- daddy is just as much parent as she is, he's not "someone else".

At 12:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

she works 60+ hours a week? When does she think she is going to have the time for more than one anyway? Or does she expect "daddy" to pick up more hours so she can work less? Heck if she is that unhappy with having her husband dictate how many kids she is to have, maybe she should rethink the marriage in general huh?

At 8:49 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess maybe this is something they should have agreed upon before getting married. I do wonder why she wants more kids when she works so much. Maybe to justify a nanny so she can totally dump the childcare in someone else's lap?

Poor poor thing. Maybe hubby thinks that she is already too unobtainable as she is.

At 11:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just cant understand why a woman is so hard done by when dad says "no more" but a man just has to suck it up and smile when mom says "more". It is unfair and SEXIST. I also dont get how she wants more kids when she doesnt even have time for the one she already has. IMO, anyone who chooses to have less kids are being very responsible to this world, being as overpopulated as it is.
In this case, dad should go get snipped, just to be sure.
BTW, I am a woman, and all for EQUALITY between the sexes.

At 12:39 am, Blogger Karry said...

In my situation, DH wanted more but I said no. It's not that I don't like kids - but that he was such a royal D*CK to me while I was pregnant. I went through it enough times with his attitude and as much as I love my kids and would like another one - it's just NOT worth that hell again. He's an angel if I'm not pregnant. If I am - WHOA watch out.

Did you know it's not healthy to become clinically depressed and LOSE weight while pregnant? Going through that again is just SO not worth it to me.

Did you advise her to speak with him about it? Maybe he would be more open to the idea if less responsibility fell on him. (If she cut back hours or worked at a different - less demanding facility? 60 hours is a lot. I work 45-50 and barely see my kids as it is) I dunno - depends on how badly she would like another I guess.


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