Saturday, July 30, 2005

Falling with style

I've resolved to be less obsessive.

(Why, you ask, am I making resolutions in the middle of summer? Isn't that a New Years thing? well, sod it. I don't celebrate christmas or new years - the last day of the year for me is October 31st - so, HAH! I'm free to make resolutions whenever I wish. *does a little 'I'm free' dance*

But seriously, I've been really stressed these past 7 weeks and it's NOT my 7 week old. He's eating like a champ, sleeping 6 or 7 hours at a stretch at night, and aside from some daily Evening Crabs (due to gas), he's a piece of cake.

So what's the deal? Didn't you just do a happy post, Blue? In the words of the great Han Solo: "We're fine, we're all fine here ... how are you?"

Uhh ...

My oldest daughter is making me insane. She's past toilet training (we're still perfecting the nighttime training, but she's damn near got it) but I'm struggling with getting her to NOT wreak havok in her room during nap and bed-time. My oldest son is driving me mad. This is a child who can entertain himself for over an hour at a go but for the last 7 weeks has been up under my feet and right in my face every waking second. My youngest daughter is just frustrating. At 17 months she can creep, crawl at high speeds, stand alone, and jam to music but refuses to walk. She can understand complex sentences ("Go put this shirt in the hamper" or "It's time to brush our teeth"), she knows signs, heck, the girl can hum the theme to Spider-Man for goodness' sake!! But she refuses to talk.

I am irritable, volitile (more so than usual, lol), restless, and prone to general outbursts. I'll have a bit of energy to do something then go for long stretches of listlessness with no will to do anything. And I'm not sleeping well. I wake up anywhere between 2 and 4 and can't get back to sleep. Like my father, I spend this time staring into the darkness, thinking. Well, at 3am this morning I decided I knew what the problem was.

I'm obsessing.

I have an obsessive personality (although, according to Dr Google, not OCD despite some checking and re-checking, ordering, and hand-washing issues. Can't tell you how relieved I am. [/sarcasm])

See, I'm a stirrer and a taster. I can't leave anything alone. I add ingredients to tried and true dishes, constantly rebuild things in the barnyard, I even pick at scabs. I'm spending all my time obsessing about what's going on.

And it's just normal stuff! My oldest is not yet 3 1/2 for Pete's sake!

I need to learn to chill.

Take toilet training. I have had great success with Dr John Rosemond's methods but I can't seem to stop myself interfering. Rosemond's method works but you have to keep your hand out of it!! Toilet independance is just that: an independance thing. The point is to let the child do it. I have so much trouble with that. I nudge, then suggest, then insist, then blow up because he/she's made a mess yet again.

Fortunately my children have been forgiving. My darling Tall Girl trained - just as her brother did - in less than 10 days, despite my heavy-handed parenting. *sigh*

They're just babies. And they're good babies. Now if I can just learn to be a good momma ...

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 10:22 pm   1 comments


At 9:18 am, Blogger Anna said...

You *are* a good mum. You've started having children late, but you had no qualms about changing your lifestyle, giving up your independence and all this other modern crap that annoys me. You have 4 under 4, and 99% of the time you enjoy being with them, wich is more than some parents with 1 can say. You're giving them the gift of having a close relationship with their siblings, and of knowing that stuff is not what matters, and of seeing what a loving relationship looks like. In all of the pictures of your family I've seen, your kids always have this happy-intelligent-cheeky "isn't this fun" expression. IN ALL OF THEM. As far as I'm concerned, I hope I do as good a job with it as you are doing. (Heheh, my baby is almost here and I'm looking for positive role-models)

Cheer up - they know you're doing a good job :)


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