Friday, February 17, 2006

Wrestling with thoughts and babies

My baby boy will be four years old tomorrow. I'm excited and sad at the same time. I can't believe how big he's gotten and how clever. I've been talking to him about going to school (not this year but the next) and he really lights up.

I, on the other hand, am filled with dread at the thought. I was looking online at the schools in the district where he'll be attending and I did everything but break into a cold sweat.

I understand that every mother goes through this when her babies go off to school but dang! I'm off the deep end. I wonder if he'll be safe. I wonder if I'll get on with his teachers. I'm downright terrified of how he'll cope with being around other children.

I mean, I've seen some of today's kids. Especially ones in this particular district. They can be overindulged, underdisciplined, and out of control. How will my sweet and mild-mannered boy deal with kids who have never been told 'no' ever? With kids who have never been required to share or taught to be polite?

I have no illusions that my boy is perfect. I'm sure he'll do his share of just being awful, and I'm sure I'll hear from his teacher. But he's generally well fed, well rested, obedient, and cooperative - things that should make having him in ones class easier.

What about the impact of him being in school on my other children? There's the general sickness issue. There's the problem of how the Human Crash Test Dummy will react to her brother - who has been with her 24/7 since she was born - being gone. And what about the Last Baby? He or she (oh who are we kidding? I'll not be lucky enough to get another boy, lol. It'll be another bad baby girlgirl!) will not get to see her biggest brother much at all. That makes me sad.

I'm really not that worried about THCTD. She'll take over as Cheif Sib in the House pretty quickly, I'm sure. And then in another year she'll be off and I have NO doubt that Bitty Girl will positively thrive on being oldest during the day.

When did my babies get to be so big? *sniffle*

Speaking of big, the Incredible Bulk is getting quite strong and he's such a happy, active baby. When you pick him up, just the prospect of being transported somewhere new is enough to send him into paroxysms of delight. When I carry him, his head over my left shoulder, he balls up one massive, chubby fist (the Right Hand of Doom!) and pounds me on the back with it as we walk. The whole time he's grinning and kicking and squirming, making the whole brief trip not unlike wrestling a really happy 23lb chinook salmon.


Oh, now that I've extolled the virtues of my Boy, I have to ask a question of any of you parents out there:

We are suddenly having some anger issues. It might be something big - like not wanting to go to bed - or ridiculously tiny - like one of his sisters playing with a toy he wanted, but he'll get instantly angry. I don't mean like upset or frustrated (his normal reaction) but enraged.

He'll yell, stomp his feet, even throw things (never AT anyone, though, he knows better). He'll even burst into angry tears. What the heck?! Is he having the terrible twos at age four?

Nothing's changed in the house. As a matter of fact, things have settled nicely into a calm groove since we got Grandaddy back on his feet. All this started just a week or so ago.

All of these outbursts are quite brief and not very dramatic (unlike THCTD who will get warped out of true for 10 minutes at a time, wailing, snuffling, and collapsing on the floor like a ragdoll), but seeing this anger is disturbing me.

Any advice?

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posted by MrsEvilGenius @ 10:07 am   4 comments


At 3:00 pm, Blogger Anna said...

First of all, I'm so glad to read your father is back home and doing better. I hope he's coping ok on his own. And good luck on ttc your next baby... We're starting ttc this month too.
Ok, I want to stress that I am NOT speaking as an expert, or even as especially clued in -I've only had one baby who's still a baby. But I'll say what I thought of, just in case it's even remotely helpful:

You said nothing has changed the past week -but the situation in your house has been very different (and you have been quite tense) for the past couple of months, with your father's problems etc. I wonder if Boy might be reacting to the stress now that it's over, because at the time it was, well, too stressful? In the same way that when you have a bad day you do your best to manage, and when it's over you collapse in exaustion, or have a good cry to release tension.

Anyway, I might be way off with this, but I thought I'd mention it.Good luck!

At 10:33 pm, Blogger Karry said...

yeah, I'm thinking it's a reaction to the let-up of stress too. Might be good to have a chat with him about being mad and see what he says - maybe he will talk about something completely unexpected and enlighten you. But I'm pretty sure he is de-stressing. Grampa sick, mom freaking out, grampa moves in, now grampa is gone. From a 4 year old perspective I think it would be very confusing.

Prod him verbally a little - see what he reveals and go with it.

Good luck!

At 2:15 pm, Anonymous Heather said...

Could definitely be stress. However, with my oldest (now 5.5), age four was absolutely the most challenging, so far, as far as anger and outbursts are concerned. Just something that we had to deal with as each time arose and is now on the wane.

At 4:40 pm, Anonymous smsmom said...

Ever consider homeschooling?


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